One of my favourite lessons at New Grange Manor is English. I'm also very interested in History, but that's a subject for another day. Anyway, I've learned quite a bit about the different types of poetry, ballads, narrative verse, sonnets, limericks etc. One of the types which appealed to me was parody. I found an interesting poem in a St Jim's book, by, I think, the author of the Billy Bunter stories. it seemed to cry out for parodying, so here goes.......
The Deputy Head.
He stalks abroad in cap and gown,
His countenance is thund’ry;
He wears a fierce forbidding frown
Which startles all and sundry
When Mr Melman’s on the prowl
A leather belt tightly gripping,
Few stop to meet his angry scowl-
To safety they go skipping.
No sterner tyrant walked the earth
Since the fierce days of Nero:
No connoisseur of human worth
Could hail him as a hero.
But NGM children dislike him not,
And Susie , Beth and Tommy Mac
Continually applaud their lot;
They’ve such respect for Postman Pat.
In those “unhappy far-off days”
Of which the poet prattles,
Timothy, perhaps, had childish ways,
And played with hoops and rattles.
But if he ever was a youth.
(And many NGM-ers doubt it)
Our Postie has, to tell the truth
Forgotten all about it!
What makes him so severe and stern?
That is a puzzling question:
Perhaps he often gets a turn,
Of painful indigestion!
Perhaps a pessimist is he
Who pines in sad seclusion,
And sees in life no fun or glee,
But sadness and delusion.
To spare the rod and spoil the child,
Is not his resolution:
In fact, when Ol’ Melman’s wild,
He does great execution!
To rule by kindness, not by fear,
Should be his fixed intention:
But when he reads what’s written here,
He’ll doom Bethany Grant to detention!