Sunday, 28 November 2010

Christmas is Coming!

It's Christmas term soon! We are going to have a party after school, with games, and pressies! Even the naughty children will be getting presents from Secret Santa if they are taking part that is!
First of all though we have to have lessons, and hopefully they will be Christmas related. We have to take our Art aprons, so I'll need to be fairly good so I'm not stuck in the Staff Room when it's time to set up and clear away. I'm Art and Craft Monitor and that's one of my monitorial duties you see. And as Monitors, we are expected to do our duties cheerfully without any reward, because let's face it, if we did get special treatment it would be awfully unfair to those children who aren't Monitors wouldn't it? We don't like favouritism at New Grange Manor. So I shall have to be sure that my punishment book isn't full of unremitted misdeeds. it'll be quite nice to have a break to myself for a change!
It looks as though we are going to have lots of pupils this term, and the usual suspects on the Staff side, so it should be quite lively. Add to that Christmas crackers and little surprises and everyone should have lots of fun and merriment. And that's what New Grange Manor is all about anyway, fun and a good time had by all.
Bethany Grant.

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Scary pranks

So there I was, sitting mulling over the wicked time we had at boarding school, running my mind over the various pranks that we got up to, and trying to work out which was the scariest. It was pretty dicey when I wound Professor Robertson up with noisemakers in class, the others were all holding their breath waiting for him to explode, but it didn't quite happen.

Bursting a balloon outside Miss Livingstone's room at 4am was also pretty scary, the consequences anyway, but I can't really take any credit for that. Aiding and abetting yes, but I was on look out duty at the top of the stairs as I didn't think I would be able to scamper up them without getting caught, rather than being there, outside the door, helping Sarah and Michelle with the fell deed.

I think, with hindsight, the bravest, although most might comment most potentially suicidal act that I committed was done on the spur of the moment. I was a few minutes late for Lunch having been detained in the Staff Room to explain, and pay for, some slight misdemeanour. Mr Melman chased me into the refectory, urging me to get my packed lunch and settle down at the table before he made another entry in my punishment book. All our packed lunches were in white paper carrier bags, each marked with our names, and there were several on the table as some of the Beaks were missing. And amongst those present was Mr Melman's lunch bag! It was the work of a moment to slip Postie's bag behind mine, and carry the two of them to the table, dropping his quietly to the floor as I sat down.

Not a great piece of mischief, you may think, dear Reader, unless of course you are conversant with our Deputy Headmaster, Ol Postie, and his somewhat voracious appetite. He's not been compared to Dusty Bin for nothing! I can already see those in the know paling under their tans as they realise the enormity of my offence in parting Postie from his nosh. It was quite funny at first, watching Mr Melman searching amongst the bags for his own, then reality sank in, and it was with quite a sinking heart that I confessed to hiding it when he questioned those of us assembled! I wasn't wrong either, a most unpleasant few minutes ensued in the Staff Room immediately after Lunch, and the effects lasted for many minutes longer!


Friday, 5 November 2010

Boarding School - A Tommy View.

Here is a contribution by our resident "bad boy" Tommy Mac to add to the overall impressions.

. "I never knew school could be such fun! Oh happy days, walking round to the schoolrooms in crocodile, disappearing one at a time so the poor old Beaks arrive on their tod. lol How easy they make it for you, just one Beak at the head ha! We all thought the Beaks were a bit green this year as they seemed to fall for nearly all our plots. Even Postie rather foolishly allowed several pupils to leave the lesson to collect the stolen 'confiscated' stuff. We took a bit of a long time 'collecting' them. One change though..Beaks bite back, We found detonators and tricks being left in our dorms! Outrageous. I think it was brilliant this year, most of the day was timetabled and there was no waiting around for something to happen. The teachers kept busy trying to deal with the entries in all our books, but I came home with 6 or 7 outstanding, and I think lots of us did. I call that a victory. The lessons were great too as lessons go. The Prof's battles really came to life and the Halloween drama thing turned out to be good fun. Of course there were some dumb old tests as well, but you can't have everything. Next year Miss says we will investigate the old school in the village. Is she mad! We don't want to leave our school just to look at another one! There's no accounting for Beaks brain waves.

tommy mac"

Thursday, 4 November 2010

The Third Midnight Feast!

On Sunday night we decided that , Mr Melman having departed to reluctantly resume his normal life, that it would be a doddle to have a third Midnight Feast. It did prove to be a little more difficult than we had anticipated, and we started later than we intended, but we spent the best part of two hours eating, drinking and putting the world to rights. To get the flavour of the event, here is a contribution courtesy of MIchelle who was replying to a posting from Miss Livingstone bemoaning the fact that we had disturbed her slumber!

"Thanks Miss Livingstone and all for making such a good weekend, lots of fun which really boosted my low spirits at the moment. Funny how as soon as i link up with all my school chums and partner in crime I easily fell back into the non stop routine of annoying Beaks!!

When i initially suggested popping a balloon outside Miss L's bedroom door at 4am, on the way back to our beds from a midnight feast (made later by the fact that Miss L and Mr Holmes just wouldnt stop texting us.....), I wasn't sure if any of the pupils would be brave enough to join me. However Sarah immediately agreed to pop the balloon if i stayed with her, whilst the others all waited on the stairs ready to run once the deed was done. The balloon went off and we all legged it to our bedrooms. Five minutes past and we all returned to the landing to see if any lights went on. We heard the Prof which is very unusual as nothing normally wakes him and dived back under our bed clothes with lights out. Miss Livingstone's head looked round the girls dormitory door and declared "I'll be back".

It was then that we decided 'in for a penny in for a pound' and all scarpered into Mr Melmans old bedroom. We can safely say Miss Liverboobs was not a happy Beak on her return and found all but Tommy, who was behind me in the wardrobe, but did appear when we were told to line up on the far side. It was unfortunate that whilst she was lecturing us, not one pupil could stop laughing, making the situation even funnier! After being caned we all trooped back to bed and stayed there. Just seeing a very sleepy Miss Livingstone's face appearing round the corner of the door made the prank was worth the punishment!! I have since decided that 4am must be a favourite time of ours, as at the previous boarding school i set the hidden alarm clock to go off in Miss L's room at 4am as well!! Will this 4am routine become a tradition? We will have to wait and see..............
The quiet innocent pupil, well most of the time!!!!! "

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Things that go bump in the night!

So there we were, in our dorm, highly excited and chatting away ten to the dozen. Mr Melman yelled through the wall to tell us to be quiet, then Miss Livingstone appeared and waited while we all climbed into bed. She turned off the light, warning us not to make any noise and disappeared down to the lower floor.
I pushed the button on my fart machine remote control and I was gratified to hear quite a blood curdling noise from the next room. Three presses later and Mr Melman put his head round our door to warn me that he would cane me if I did it again. Well, of course, as my regular readers know, I do like a challenge, or if a Beak is reading this, my finger slipped, and there was a rather long howling noise. Mr Melman disappeared for a few minutes, then returned with his straight cane, the one that stings. He ordered me over the end of my bed and administered twelve fairly hard strokes. Before he had managed to get out of the room, I had the machine going again, and was once again directed to bend over the end of the bed. This continued for some time until I decided I didn't really want to sleep on my tummy all night.
For a while silence reigned. We had decided that Midnight would be the best time for the Feast, that being the traditional time. It was almost Midnight when I slipped out of the room and made my way along the corridor. There was a backwash of light from the stairs which threw into perfect silhouette the head of Mr Melman as he lurked behind the frosted glass window on the top landing. I quietly back tracked and reported to Shell and Sarah that there was a Beak on the prowl. We kept the door slightly open, and after about ten minutes we heard Mr Melman's door close. Again we cracked open the door and surveyed the corridor. Nothing. I stepped out into the corridor, took two steps towards the stairs and Mr Melman's head popped out of his doorway like a demented tortoise emerging from its shell. He chased us back into the room, ordered us to bend over the foot of our beds, and punished us again before telling us to get to sleep.
Again we left it for a good ten minutes, and this time when I left our dorm, I studied his door very carefully, no light spilling out around it, dead silence within, just the creaks as the house settled for the night. We had made it past the head of the first stairs on our way to wake up Tommy Mac when Mr Melman and Miss Livingstone surfaced on the top landing. I kid you not, they were like a pair of demons at the pantomime, they only needed a puff of green smoke to announce themselves to finish off the effect! Miss Livingstone sent Shell and Sarah back to the dorm, and told Mr Melman to deal with me. As the corridor was quite narrow at that point, he sent me along to the wider part at the head of the second set of stairs because he could get "a better swing there" and told me to bend over. As he was caning me, Chris's door opened and he came out to ask Mr Melman to kindly make less noise! Mr Melman chased him back into his dorm with several cracks of the cane across his bottom!
By this time I had lost count of how many strokes I'd been awarded, and I was seriously contemplating sleeping for the rest of the night. The other two looked slightly ruffled after Miss L's administrations too! However, we New Grange Manor pupils are made of sterner stuff, and although I was dozing quite nicely when Tommy mac and Chris nipped into our dorm, I quickly became wide awake. They had slipped down the second set of stairs, then came up the other set so that they avoided Mr Melman's door to some extent.
We had all the goodies packed, and went out one by one, very quietly, and crept down the stairs. We recc'ed the lower landing (the Beaks' landing), there was no sound, and no lights, so we slipped along to the head of the main staircase and carefully made our way downstairs. We decided we would use the Staff Room. There's comfortable settees in there, and a nice rug on the floor. We spread out the food and sweets. Chris had brought beer, and we had Pimms (which I had never tasted before but found very delicious) and vodka with apple juice and I think cider. Yes, I know that as Pupils we are not allowed to drink alcohol, but as we were being so naughty anyway, we thought we may as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb.
Hanging didn't come into it though. Caning did. We were just getting into the swing of things when the door flew open and Mr Melman stood there, looking like an avenging angel, in maroon pyjamas! He read us the riot act, and told us to pack all the stuff away. We packed it into two bags, one plastic, one a bright orange Iceland bag. As Head Girl I was called up first to bend over the bench. He's obviously a man who needs his beauty sleep to keep his temperament sunny, and I realised by stroke two of twelve that he was a tad miffed. The others were called up in turn for their dozen. Someone managed to purloin the plastic bag of goodies, I think it may have been Tommy Mac, and get them out of the Staff Room while Mr Melman was otherwise engaged, but the orange bag remained there. At least it did until the following morning, when observing that the Staff Room was empty, and the Beaks otherwise engaged, I nipped in there (yes, I know it's out of bounds, but then, I wanted my goodies back) retrieved the bag and concealed it elsewhere!
We returned to our dormitories, somewhat sore and chastened, but thrilled that we had managed to pull off a Midnight Feast even if it had been curtailed a bit early. And so to bed, to sleep the sleep of the innocent.

Boarding School

Last Friday a motley group of adults met together at a south western venue for a fun weekend away from our usual mundane lives. We ranged in age from around mid thirties to early sixties, and we came from all over the country, the Midlands, the North, the South, the Capital and the South West, and from all walks of life, and professions, plus an OAP! Within a couple of hours of arrival, once everything had been unpacked and put away, we separated into two distinct groups. Uniformed pupils, and the Beaks (as our teachers are known collectively), and long before Lights Out the two sets, Children and Adults, had melded into their roles.

Our one disappointment was that Mr Malcolm was too poorly to be let out of the Home for the Confused and Befuddled. Matron put her foot down and decreed that he remain in his sick bed, (while, no doubt, she stroked his fevered brow) instead of coming along to join his colleagues. He's been at New Grange Manor since he entered the teaching profession as a student teacher, and it was generally agreed that he has shaped up very nicely as a Beak, and of course his loyalty and helpfulness are second to none. However, I digress.

We were left more or less to our devices while Miss Livingstone sorted out the evening meal. It appears that the chef had had an unfortunate accident with a horse..... Our groan ups don't seem to have much luck with animals, Mr Holmes was chased by a flock of feral hens and according to Miss Livingston was found half way up a tree, cowering on a branch. Unfortunately no-one has told him that hens don't really fly, so he was farther up the (gum) tree than he really needed to be! You can see a picture of his chief persecutor above! Tommy decided to hide the school bell. I helped her by suggesting an interesting hiding place. Chris got thrashed by Miss Livingstone because the bell was missing, despite Tommy confessing that he had taken it, and that I was involved on the periphery of the prank! We got our comeuppance too!

Sarah, Michelle and I were thrilled to discover we were sharing the same dormitory as last year, with Tommy Mac two doors away, and Chris Pike in the the far dorm beyond Tommy. Keith was behind us in San, cos he was still recovering from a rather nasty cold and cough which left him with a very poorly chest, poor lad. We were less than thrilled to find that Miss Livingstone had given Mr Melman (Postie Pat) the room in between us and Tommy, so that we could be more closely supervised after our mischief making last year. We had a feeling we were going to have to work extra hard in order to complete our plans this time, and so it proved!

Still, we arrived before Postie did, so Shell and I proceeded to booby trap his room while we had the chance. A noisy plastic chicken went under his pillow (on hindsight it might have been better suited to Sherbert Holmes' bed), several mice, giraffes and spiders went under the duvet, and a fart machine was cunningly concealed behind a bedside cabinet.

We set the table for dinner (all the pupils had chores and we were all very good about getting them done). We had one long refectory table, the pupils sat at the head, and the teachers at the foot of the table. All the old hands amongst the pupils chose their seats with care, thereby leaving the newer pupils, Keith and Chris, sitting next to a beak. Keith was okay cos he had Prof Robertson on his right, but Chris was sitting to the left of Postie. This resulted in most of the meals being punctuated by the cry, "Pike you stupid boy" and the crack of Mr Melman's hand against the back of Chris's head!

We had scrummy shepherd's pie, with seconds for the hungriest (Chris and Postie!) and a pudding too. As it was the first night and we'd all had long journeys, Miss Livingstone did a quick Assembly, running over the rules, Bounds, Lights Out Rules etc, then we were sent to wash, get into our pyjamas and snuggle into bed before Lights Out. So away we went. And I will leave it there for now, dear Reader, because the activities after lights Out deserve a chapter to themselves!


Monday, 1 November 2010

Third Term at New Grange Manor Boarding School!!

Boarding School

These just get better and better. This one was absolutely amazing. When I can sit comfortably, and I've caught up on my sleep, (three midnight feasts would you believe!!) I will spill the beans.