A glimpse in the HBC basement.

Well here you are, folks, as promised, a photo taken in the basement at the home for the Bewildered and Confused fairly recently. Mr Andrew is pontificating his rules of English Grammar, while Mr Malcolm is

concerned about his next meal! About par for the course for the pair of them!!

Bethany

Hallowen and School

It will soon be Halloween, and a lucky few from New Grange Manor will be spending it deep in the heart of the countryside at boarding school! Double fun! My Guardian is already busy making me a Halloween jumper for the party on Sunday evening. It's full of ghosts, and bats and pumpkins and the wickedest devil you ever did see! Except you won't unless you are one of the chosen few!
We've already seen the timetable, and it's crammed full of activities. There doesn't seem to be much time for causing mayhem and mischief, but of course, where there is a will...... Although I'm not sure if Will is coming, there's me, and Sarah and Michelle, Tommy Mac, Keef, and Chris, not sure who else, although we have a wide range of beaks, Miss Liversausage, Mr (Sherbert) Holmes, Mr Melman (Postie), Mr Malcolm (ol Eff 1), Mr Reamon (A4) and ol Prof Robertson. Gosh, that's a Beak/Pupil ratio of one to one. I hadn't realised that, we'll certainly have to keep on our toes, otherwise we'll just be looking at them (our toes)! Still, I do enjoy a challenge.
My Guardian can't take me all the way to the venue. Poor old dear tires too easily driving long distances on account of her "affliction"..... so I am to be decanted part way and I will share a car with Tommy mac (hooray) and Miss Liversausage and Mr Holmes (boo) all the way there. Not a great deal of scope for plotting, but I dare say we might manage something. Our Beaks do tend to have the hearing of bats, although at least we are spared the company of the completely batty one, as he will remain hanging from the rafters, in the basement of the Home for the Befuddled and Confused, like a bat. I do have a photo somewhere, must see if I can find it and scan it in.......
Anyway, I digress. A nice long weekend, in school uniform, in beautiful surroundings and a gorgeous schoolhouse, what more could anyone ask? And there's always the chance we might learn something interesting too!
Bethany

Something to mull over.....

Definition of favouritism:-

1) The practice of giving special treatment to one person.

2) The state of being treated as favourite.

October School

Well that was an interesting school. We had the presentation of the Trophies. As predicted, Celts came first, Romans were a very creditable second, followed by Saxons and Vikings. I don't exactly understand how House Points are allocated, but as House Captain of Romans I'm happy enough with the result!
Jane took the personal house points trophy, again, as the Beaks had given her the most personal hps during the year.
We had quite a large gathering, 15 pupils, including some new oiks who we inculcated into our mischief making ways. Daisy, Sarah, Maxine and I enlivened morning break by standing side by side, feet slightly apart, arms upraised to make an "X". hands lightly touching. We waited to see which Beak we would draw in, and in due course ol Eff 1 lumbered across to us demanding to know what we were doing. I explained that we were making a human transmitter, to try and communicate with an alien life form. And as we dropped our arms, I commented to the girls "and it looks as if we have succeeded girls". Eff 1 looked a trifle discomfited and said he would deal with us later. I don't think he ever did though, he certainly didn't catch up with me, there's nothing in my punishment book about communicating with alien life forms!
By this time we'd had Political History with Mr Grimshaw (I booby trapped his books with a detonator which made a pleasing bang, oddly enough he wasn't pleased, and expressed his displeasure in the usual way!). Exploration of Knowledge with the new Beak, Mr Ray (Sugar) came next, during which I pinched the box of chalk of his desk and passed it around the class. Several of us were in possession of "School chalk liquorice", a white sweet which looks like pieces of chalk, and we openly ate these as the chalk box circulated. He either didn't notice, or decided not to go there, so once again we got away with a fairly well organised piece of mischief.
I was a little late for biology having not heard the bell. This is probably explained by the fact that I was hiding behind the woodshed waiting for another pupil to join me in an act of truancy. However he got waylaid on his way out and sent back to his desk, and I was bored and a bit cold so I went back in. I got an entry in my book for being late to class, but then in that lesson I got half a dozen entries for one thing or another so it all sort of blurred into one. i didn't sit comfortably for some time, mind. The Grim in particular seems to have realised I won't break in two if he whacks me that bit harder!!
Lunch was scrummy, the downside being that Daisy and I had to sit at the Beaks' end of the table as the other seats were all taken. it's not a pretty sight, you know, dear Readers, watching the teaching faculty at the trough so to speak!
We decided to enliven the day after Lunch by developing measles. I had a couple of packets of red adhesive dots in my satchel, as you do, and we dotted them on our faces, hands and legs. Miss Livingsausage was incensed when we declared that we were allergic to dinner, rattan, canes, straps and anything else the Beaks might have about their persons to chastise poor pupils with. She made us line up, no consideration that we might be ailing, and after threatening us all with a dose of cod liver oil and malt (which I adore) we were sent into the Staffroom two by two, a bit like the animals in the Ark, for the Grim and ol Eff1 to deal with us. And they did so with a somewhat alarming degree of enthusiasm!
Art was great fun. We made Bunting with a Halloween theme. This is going to be hung at the boarding school weekend. I decided on a skull in a coffin shaped box, quite gruesome, and fiddly to do, but it earned me a precious hp so I was well pleased.
By this time we were all getting tired, and Prof Robertson wisely shelved his lecture on military history (bit of a disappointment to me as I love military history) and we played "Who am I?" using figures from history. It was fun and brought the evening to a gentle end.
So all in all a good day.
Boarding school comes next, so watch this space!!
Bethany Grant
Head Girl

Forthcoming School

Another school on Saturday. This is the precursor to boarding school too. There will be presentation of trophies for house points, and hopefully lots of mischief to intersperse the lessons.

August School

We had such a super school yesterday. We were a tad thin on the ground owing to illness, holidays, and a clash with other events, but nonetheless the day buzzed from the word go!
I arrived quite early, and having changed into my uniform, we have lovely new school hats now btw, (and this term I wore my best grey gymslip as I wasn't wearing my school jumper, the weather being a little warm) I was sent into the Staffroom to sit at the table and do my Sats under the eagle eye of Mr Malcolm. And I must say it made a pleasant change to be sitting in the Staffroom rather than being bent over a bench in there! The Sats were quite challenging, especially as it's an extra two months for me since we did the work we were being tested on. I do know I inadvertently added several hundred thousands of years to the building of Stonehenge, by my reckoning it would have been Tyrannosaurus Rex and his mates who had a hand, or a claw, in it!!
Still it was finished in time for me to have a bit of fun before school started. I met the two new ticks, Jeff and Danny, and introduced them to pegging. We also had a new Beak, Mr Ray, who Jane promptly re-christened "Sugar", can't have a Beak at New Grange Manor who doesn't have a nickname! Being fresh meat he was the ideal subject for a demonstration of pegging. I strolled past, attached a bright pink clothes peg to the bottom of his jacket, and returned to the new pair to hand over a couple of pegs for them to have a go. The Grim spotted the peg and called me across to him and Sugar to give me a gentle reprimand (it was before school started) and to explain to Sugar the niceties of some of our mischief. He did also tell him that my word can be relied on, if I'm guilty I confess, if I deny the prank, they can be 100% certain I am innocent, so that was nice to hear. We rely a lot on personal honour at NGM, and we rather frown on folk who deliberately let others get into trouble for their misdeeds. It's just not cricket.
We got stuck into lessons immediately after Assembly. History with the Grim consisted of some bite size facts about the Houses of Plantagenet,Lancaster and Tudor, although we stopped at Henry 7th this term. Henry 8th will nearly merit a lesson all on his own, like the Grim said, a bloke with six mother-in-laws needs a bit of space!
Archaeology was a bit of a hoot when Miss Livingboobs started talking about a couple of Archaeologists who are called "Leakey" (sic), and once she mentioned they were "incontinent of Africa" Jane and I lost it completely and were doubled over our desks nearly crying with laughter. We were sent out of the class in disgrace and ended up being bent double over the bench in the Staff Room which tended to steady us somewhat!
We had loads of other lessons, English Literature (Roman House got full marks in the Dickens Quiz), a spelling test ( two precious house points for me and Nicola for a 100% score) Biology, a somewhat surreal lesson where we learnt about the origins of poop. Thankfully that was after Lunch which consisted, it being summer term, of a cold packed Lunch. Lots of scrummy filled rolls, crisps, fruit, jellies, tomatoes and all sorts of goodies. I got into a bit of trouble when a tomato accidentally fell on eff-one's head, he hauled me off to the Staffroom and expressed his displeasure in the usual way. I expressed my cheek in the usual way but only succeeded in getting an extra 3 hard whacks which made me jump about a bit so I desisted after that!
I'd provided a jar of piccalilli for the Staff table. But they were all wary of opening it, led by the Grim who once opened a jar of mustard I'd offered him, and nearly dropped it when the snake popped out! Even the new Beak, ol Sugar, had become increasingly wary as the day progressed, by the end he was shying like a skittish colt if a pupil passed within three feet of him! Anyway, Chris, an intrepid Roman opened it up in the end, and a snake made a satisfying entry into the world! We also had a salt cellar which shoots along the table at a rate of knots. I'd had another couple of pranks in the pipeline but sadly I'd left them at home. Never mind, there's always October school, or the weekend Boarder.
We did try making gunpowder after lunch. Tommy mac acquired a spoon, and after several abortive attempts I got a beaker and we mixed the saltpetre (cream of tartar), sulfur (custard powder) and carbon (cocoa) together to make a nice powder. Must have got the proportions wrong though cos it didn't go off. Maybe just as well, I got into enough trouble with little bangers, a big explosion might have resulted in some serious retribution!! Plus we don't do dangerous mischief anyway, that's not the NGM way.
So all in all a lively school, and I can't wait for the next one!
Bethany Grant
Head Girl

SATs etc

Well another term is looming. An important one too as we have our SATs exams. Sadly I won't be amongst those present. My Guardian is taking me off to do some volunteer work with vulnerable adults, and unfortuntely the dates clash. Never mind, at least it gives the Beaks a bit of a rest. They might even pop down the road to the local pub to watch the footie seeing that all will be quiet on the classroom front.
Bethany