August School

We had such a super school yesterday. We were a tad thin on the ground owing to illness, holidays, and a clash with other events, but nonetheless the day buzzed from the word go!
I arrived quite early, and having changed into my uniform, we have lovely new school hats now btw, (and this term I wore my best grey gymslip as I wasn't wearing my school jumper, the weather being a little warm) I was sent into the Staffroom to sit at the table and do my Sats under the eagle eye of Mr Malcolm. And I must say it made a pleasant change to be sitting in the Staffroom rather than being bent over a bench in there! The Sats were quite challenging, especially as it's an extra two months for me since we did the work we were being tested on. I do know I inadvertently added several hundred thousands of years to the building of Stonehenge, by my reckoning it would have been Tyrannosaurus Rex and his mates who had a hand, or a claw, in it!!
Still it was finished in time for me to have a bit of fun before school started. I met the two new ticks, Jeff and Danny, and introduced them to pegging. We also had a new Beak, Mr Ray, who Jane promptly re-christened "Sugar", can't have a Beak at New Grange Manor who doesn't have a nickname! Being fresh meat he was the ideal subject for a demonstration of pegging. I strolled past, attached a bright pink clothes peg to the bottom of his jacket, and returned to the new pair to hand over a couple of pegs for them to have a go. The Grim spotted the peg and called me across to him and Sugar to give me a gentle reprimand (it was before school started) and to explain to Sugar the niceties of some of our mischief. He did also tell him that my word can be relied on, if I'm guilty I confess, if I deny the prank, they can be 100% certain I am innocent, so that was nice to hear. We rely a lot on personal honour at NGM, and we rather frown on folk who deliberately let others get into trouble for their misdeeds. It's just not cricket.
We got stuck into lessons immediately after Assembly. History with the Grim consisted of some bite size facts about the Houses of Plantagenet,Lancaster and Tudor, although we stopped at Henry 7th this term. Henry 8th will nearly merit a lesson all on his own, like the Grim said, a bloke with six mother-in-laws needs a bit of space!
Archaeology was a bit of a hoot when Miss Livingboobs started talking about a couple of Archaeologists who are called "Leakey" (sic), and once she mentioned they were "incontinent of Africa" Jane and I lost it completely and were doubled over our desks nearly crying with laughter. We were sent out of the class in disgrace and ended up being bent double over the bench in the Staff Room which tended to steady us somewhat!
We had loads of other lessons, English Literature (Roman House got full marks in the Dickens Quiz), a spelling test ( two precious house points for me and Nicola for a 100% score) Biology, a somewhat surreal lesson where we learnt about the origins of poop. Thankfully that was after Lunch which consisted, it being summer term, of a cold packed Lunch. Lots of scrummy filled rolls, crisps, fruit, jellies, tomatoes and all sorts of goodies. I got into a bit of trouble when a tomato accidentally fell on eff-one's head, he hauled me off to the Staffroom and expressed his displeasure in the usual way. I expressed my cheek in the usual way but only succeeded in getting an extra 3 hard whacks which made me jump about a bit so I desisted after that!
I'd provided a jar of piccalilli for the Staff table. But they were all wary of opening it, led by the Grim who once opened a jar of mustard I'd offered him, and nearly dropped it when the snake popped out! Even the new Beak, ol Sugar, had become increasingly wary as the day progressed, by the end he was shying like a skittish colt if a pupil passed within three feet of him! Anyway, Chris, an intrepid Roman opened it up in the end, and a snake made a satisfying entry into the world! We also had a salt cellar which shoots along the table at a rate of knots. I'd had another couple of pranks in the pipeline but sadly I'd left them at home. Never mind, there's always October school, or the weekend Boarder.
We did try making gunpowder after lunch. Tommy mac acquired a spoon, and after several abortive attempts I got a beaker and we mixed the saltpetre (cream of tartar), sulfur (custard powder) and carbon (cocoa) together to make a nice powder. Must have got the proportions wrong though cos it didn't go off. Maybe just as well, I got into enough trouble with little bangers, a big explosion might have resulted in some serious retribution!! Plus we don't do dangerous mischief anyway, that's not the NGM way.
So all in all a lively school, and I can't wait for the next one!
Bethany Grant
Head Girl