Friday, 23 October 2009

Day One - School time

First of all, I'd like to point out that this blog about Boarding School is a joint effort between Michelle and myself. We have pooled notes and memories in order to protect the innocent!

Saturday morning, after a nice sleep in comfortable beds, we did our ablutions, changed into uniform, tidied the room and trooped downstairs for breakfast. Mr Malcolm greeted us by asking if we had been having tap dancing lessons in our room the night before. At our blank stares, he explained that it had been a tad noisy, what with the fart machine, us nipping up and down stairs, and then there were the other noisy "toys" he had discovered when the lights went out. He left us to eat our breakfast and do our chores with a curt order to see him in the Staff Room once we were finished. We did so. I retired to our common room to recover somewhat, but michelle's death wish was alive and well and she was foolish enough to cheek Eff-1 again. I watched her following him out of the school, and followed, curious to see why. Poor old michelle was sent to run around the lawn until ordered to stop! She managed quite a good power walking technique and went round about 7 or 8 times in all, and nearly managed to stop to chat to Prof Robertson before she was hauled back into the Staff Room. The usual noises issued forth and I nipped upstairs to get my PE kit for later.
We'd been told to fill in the sandwich list for lunch. There was lots of choice, and we were even able to request a second sandwich if we thought we were going to be very hungry. Sarah Robinson obviously thought that Professor Robertson needed some extra rations, especially as he's quite tall and sturdy, so she very kindly changed his "2" to "200". And do you know, he wasn't the least bit grateful! In fact he wrote it down as an offence in her punishment book! I'd made an addition to Mr Malcolm's choice, and added a request for a portion of hemlock as seasoning. He came across this later on in the day, and took umbrage. I couldn't sit comfortably for ages afterwards.
Seconds later the bell went, and I made it down to the common room just in time. We were all lined up ready to march across to the classroom block when tommy mac and michelle confessed that they didn't have their PE kit. We waited while they retrieved it, and had "Late" written in their punishment books, then marched off in a neat single file, me at the front behind Miss Liversausage, the others strung out behind me. As we approached the front door, I raised my water pistol grenade to shower Miss Livingstone. Unfortunately, unlike a proper water pistol, you can't tell which side the water is going to come out of too easily, and I only managed to squirt water to one side. Michelle was much more successful though, and thoroughly soaked Miss L's head. The downside for michelle was the fact that the glass entrance door acted like a mirror and Miss L knew exactly who was at fault!
We were taken all round the classroom block and shown the usual offices, fire escapes etc, then settled down to the first lesson, Military History with Professor Robertson. I was really excited cos I like history, and I kept firing off all these questions at him about what were we going to do, could we do this period or that period. After he told me to stop talking for the third time, I had to take my book to him for an entry re unnecessary talking, and I thought I had better desist.
We had a super lesson. The ultimate aim was to learn about the Evacuation from Dunkirk. Prof took us right back to the WW1, although he just skirted around that because he refuses to discuss the Great War as he considers it was simply murder, and we discussed social and economic conditions between the wars. It was fascinating. Michelle got caught passing sweets to tommy mac. Mr Malcolm spent some time in the room, and gave me and michelle an admonitory clip round the ear whenever he passed us just to warn us to be good. And I was being good! I always am if I'm interested in something! I think Prof was getting a bit peeved too, he seems to be a Beak who likes to control his own class.
At the end of the lesson several of us had to see Prof regarding our conduct. We got a stern lecture about behaviour and the consequences of interrupting his lesson which really struck home. He followed this up by saying he would come and find us and inflict our punishment when he was ready to do so. There was a dull thud as four tummies turned over and sank like stones! We went down to get our drinks at break feeling distinctly apprehensive.
In fact I think the trepidation must have got to Sarah cos she played truant during the next class! She got caught eventually of course,and had to face the wrath of both Miss Livingstone and Prof Robertson, which is quite a rich mixture!
The next lesson was PE, with Mr Malcolm. We started off with some stretches and bends, and followed those up with a hilarious set of games with a balloon. I think the balloon won. He then had me out at the front of the class demonstrating some dance moves. The fact that I have two left feet, no sense of rhythm, and difficulty in working out my right from my left in moments of stress incensed him somewhat. He tried writing L and R on the backs of my hands, but that upset any rhythm that I'd actually managed to find. In the end he sent me back into line, put some music on, and called out the moves as we did them. The others were moving quite nicely, especially tommy and michelle. I side stepped neatly to the curtains, and hid behind them for the remainder of the lesson. I wasn't missed. At least eff-one did ask at one point where is bethany? But I think he probably felt a bethany less class was all to the best. Then there were footsteps, and I heard Miss Livingstone's dulcet tones. As the line of dancers advanced upon my hiding place, I slipped out and tagged on the end. And I got away with it too!
And so to Lunch, dear readers. We will break here, and I will reveal all (or as much as I dare) of the activities in the afternoon.
bethany and michelle

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